Anyone who has ever accomplished something worthwhile probably started with a goal.  Then, most likely, they created a plan.  Well, I’m kinda the exception to both of those.

I start with a big idea. Then, I just start doing things…lots of things, actually…simultaneously…in hopes that eventually my big idea becomes a reality.  Looking back, I realize now that this is not the most effective way to achieve my dreams.

However, this is precisely how Ben & I decided to become parents. We had been married about six months and decided to start trying to have a baby.  Have a baby – that was our big idea.  And outside of picking the name and decorating the nursery, we really didn’t have much of “a plan” per se for this new little bundle of joy.

But now, five years later, we find our “big idea” turning into a “big boy” who has already outdone anything we could have ever planned or imagined.

This weekend, Samuel Benjamin turned five years old and we celebrated with eight friends at his cowboy-themed birthday party.  And in true fashion, I had some outrageous plans for our little buckaroo’s birthday shindig (because we only throw a birthday party like this every 5 years or so, so we gots to do it up big).  At one point, my party outline may, or may not, have included greasing a pig and seeing which five-year-old could catch it.

First things first though; we needed some invitations.

Next, we needed a cake.  And my husband grew up with only the best cakes in town – homemade and personally decorated.  And because I was too busy calling around to find a greasy pig, he got the job.

Well done, right? Yeah, I thought so too.  Kudos to Daddy for getting it done – on time AND to his clients’ specifications.  And it tasted AweSoMe!!!

Time to party – onto some western-style games & activities because five-year-olds don’t sit around and “talk” like grown-ups or bust out “moves like Jagger”… just yet.  Kids took their best shot with a six-shooter at our shooting range then personalized their cowboy/cowgirl hats.

Daddy nixed the greased pig, so we opted for riding a wild hog instead.

Finally, it was time for cake and presents, where Sam ate up every note of that Happy Birthday song.

The party wrapped up as Sam thanked his guests for coming with a little treat bag including a sheriff’s badge & cowboy tattoo.  His last picture of the day was with his special cowgirl, Ella.

It was a stampedin’ good time as promised.  We had barrels of fun - so thank you to everyone who took the time to come!

In early January, my son Sam brought home our first “family portrait.” He was so excited to share his masterpiece with us; and it was fun to see what his clever little mind interpreted as our family.

Apparently, he sees us as skull-faced, squashed snowmen. Nevertheless, its fridge-worthy art to me!

One of the rites of passage, I think, as a parent, is getting to see how your child views your family.  As soon as that child is welcomed into your family, you are dictating the what, the how & the why of his little life; and I must say I am thrilled that we are entering that stage where our oldest is able to share with us what he sees as the reality of our family.  Because, usually, it’s very humbling.

Within a week of his drawing earning its place on the fridge, my husband and I began a class called “Growing Kids God’s Way” and we quickly became introduced to this daily marriage activity called Couch Time.  My husband’s initial mental reaction was probably like “Alright!!” because, well, it does have a let’s-make-out-vibe to it; but there’s really a lot more to it.  The brief synopsis is that our kids need to see that Mommy & Daddy are actually Husband & Wife first and taking 15 minutes a day to sit & chat together, ALONE on the couch, places the priority of the marriage relationship over the parental relationship.  The theory is that kids who are confident that their mommy & daddy love each other will be more secure and able to function well, instead of creating attention-driven scenarios – like tantrums and poor sleeping habits.

I must admit, getting uninterrupted sleep was a great motivator for me since we have spent the majority of the last five years operating on less than 3-4 hours of continous sleep each night.  And now, three weeks later, things ARE actually better…its does feel like a magic little pill.

If we have had at least four Couch Times that week, then our kids sleep through the night most of the week.  But more than that, Sam has responded positively in many different and encouraging ways.  He gets excited for us to go on dates, and he even wants us to do family couch times - with him initiating the conversations. The coolest difference though was when he brought home his second family portrait……

Granted, we look more like long-necked humans now, but did you catch the biggest difference?

“Look! Mommy & Daddy are holding hands,” he proudly pointed out.   <and my hearts melts>

Like me, you might think the best thing you could do for your child is love, love, love them.  But now I think that’s actually a little premature. I think the best thing I can do for my kids is love their daddy like crazy and let them see that.  And, like magic, it makes loving them a lot easier.  Weird, huh?

And in case you missed it, National Marriage Week culminated today…on Valentine’s Day…. NOT a coincidence.  Instead of letting day old flowers be the reminder that you still love your spouse,  I’d encourage you to let today be the starting point for you to start making your marriage a priority every day, because it matters.

The same week as starting couch time, we also attended the Kentucky FCA’s Coach & Spouse Getaway in Lexington. We got these cool handmade bracelets and were instructed to wear them for the next month.  We couldn’t remember exactly why we were to wear them until February 16, so we just made up our own little purpose: to be intentional about prioritizing our marriage.  And I would say it has been well worth it.  I think I will keep mine on until it just falls off, no deadline necessary.